Volume III: The Art of Personality
by Hazrat Inayat Khan

Among the many-sided teachings of Hazrat Inayat Khan, the discussion of problems related to our everyday life occupy an important place. Esotericism, spirituality, and religious practice counted very little for him in a person who did not fulfil his duty towards his fellowmen and himself. According to Inayat Khan a person’s main task and purpose in life is to become human, in the fullest sense of the word. This is why man has come on earth and only after having achieved this will it be possible for him to return with full consciousness to the source when he had come.

In this third volume of The Sufi Message of Hazrat Inayat Khan a considerable part of the mystic’s lectures and lessons on what might be called "social" subjects have been collected. Thus one will find Education, a series of lectures given in the years 1925 and 1926, wherein the upbringing of the child is analyzed from its infancy onwards. At the end of this book, which was first published in 1934, two very interesting earlier papers have been inserted, The Education of Children and The Training of Youth. These have never before been published in English; only a French translation was published in 1922. While Education follows the development of the child and the care it should receive at different ages from it’s guardians in great detail, the two latter papers give a broader outline of the fundamental spiritual principals which should govern the educator.

Rasa Shastra, the science of life’s creative forces, contains a series of lessons Inayat Khan gave to his pupils on sexual relationship. It was first published in 1938. Character-Building and the Art of Personality and Moral Culture, both consisting of lessons given at different times during the years following the First World War, were published in 1931 and 1937.

It is never too soon in the life of a child for it to receive education. The soul of an infant is like a photographic plate which has never been exposed before, and whatever impression falls on that photographic plate covers it. No other impressions which come afterwards have the same effect. Therefore when the parents or guardians lose the opportunity of impressing an infant in its early childhood they lose the greatest opportunity.

In the Orient there is a superstition that an undesirable person must not be allowed to come near an infant. If the parents or relatives see that a certain person should not be in the presence of an infant, that person is avoided, for the very reason that the infant is like a photographic plate. The soul is negative, fully responsive, and susceptible to every influence; and the first impression that falls on a soul takes root in it.

In the first place an infant brings with it to the earth the spirit with which it is impressed from the angelic spheres and from the plane of the jinn; it has also inherited from the earth qualities from both it’s parents and of their families. After coming on earth the first impression that an infant receives is from the environment, the surroundings, from those who touch it and move and work in it’s surroundings. And the impression after coming to earth is so strong that very often it erases the impressions that an infant has inherited from the higher spheres, and also the heritage from it’s parents. This happens because the mind that has been formed of the impressions which the infant has brought from the higher spheres is not yet positive. It is just like a pot of clay which has not yet gone through the fire; it has not yet developed.

The qualities that an infant has inherited from its parents are also in the same negative state; and they are perfected after the child has come on earth. Therefore the first impression that falls upon an infant after coming on earth is all the stronger. The first process in making pottery is to mould pots of clay, and the second process is to put them in the fire. When they are put in the fire they become strong, they become positive; before they are put in the fire they are negative. In the same way a photographic plate is first negative; afterwards, when it has undergone a certain process, it becomes positive. And that is the process through which the soul passes in its infancy; and then it goes through a certain development. All that it has brought from the higher spheres and from it’s family becomes developed, becomes positive or solid, in other words it becomes condensed; because that is the time when the spirit is being formed and is becoming positive. If an undesirable impression has fallen upon an infant at that time, no matter what education is given later that first impression remains concrete and solid. Nothing can erase it because infancy is the moment when the soul is becoming positive.

In educating the child the first rule that must be remembered is that one person must educate it, not everybody in the family. It is a great mistake when everyone in the family tries to train the infant or to take care of it, because that keeps an infant from forming a character. Each one has it’s own influence and each influence is different from the other. But most often what happens is that the parents never think of education at all in infancy. They think that is the age when the child is a doll, a toy; that everyone can handle it and play with it. They do not think that it is the most important moment in the souls life; that never again will that opportunity come for a soul to develop.

Should the father or the mother educate the child? A man’s life demands all his attention in his work; the mother is born with the sense of duty towards her child, and therefore the mother has the first right to educate it. The mother can also quiet the child in the first days of it’s life, because the child is a part of the mother, and therefore the rhythm of the mother’s spirit is akin to the rhythms of the child’s spirit. The soul that has come from above is received and is reared and taken care of by the mother; and therefore the mother is it’s best friend. If there is anything that the father can do, it is to help the mother or the guardian to educate the child. If the child in it’s infancy were given entirely into the hand of the father, there would little hope that it would come out right. Because a man is a child all his life, and the help that is needed in the life of an infant is that of the mother. Nevertheless, later in the life of a child there comes a time when the father’s influence is equally needed; but that time is not in infancy. As the Brahmin says, the first Guru is the mother, the second Guru is the father, and the third Guru is the teacher.

That one person who takes an infant in hand in order to train it must first establish a friendship with it. There was in India a Mazda, a sage, who used to live among elephants. He used to share his bread with them and sleep near them. At the same time there were those who were appointed to take care of the elephants. They controlled them with their spears and with their commands. Very often the elephant listened to them; but when an elephant was mad it would not listen to the, and often a keeper was killed at such times. The elephant would not recognize the keeper when it was mad. But this sage had a friendship with all the elephants, with the mad and the sober and with every one of them. He used to go near them and pat them and look at them and talk with them, and he would sleep near them unconcerned; yet they would never touch him.

What does this show? It shows that there are two ways of controlling. One is the way of mastering, and the other is of becoming friends. By mastering you will diminish the will of the person you master. By being friends you will sustain his will power, and at the same time help. In the one case you make of the person a slave; in the other case you make out of that person a king. In training an infant one must remember that his mind-power, which means willpower, must not be diminished, and yet an infant must be controlled.

There are five different subjects in which an infant must be trained in the first year: Discipline, balance, concentration, ethics, and relaxation.

When once friendship is established with an infant the guardian is able to attract its attention and the infant will respond to the guardian. And that must be the necessary first condition. That condition must first be produced before beginning education. When once an infant begins to respond fully to the guardian, then discipline can be taught; but not by anger, not by agitation, as the guardian very often does. For an infant is often very trying, and is sometimes more stubborn than any grown-up person can be, and most difficult to control.

The best way of teaching the infant discipline is without agitation, without showing any temper or annoyance, only repeating the action before it. For instance, the infant wants something which it should not have, while the guardian wishes it should play with a particular toy. This toy must be given continually into it’s hand; and when the child throws it away, or when it cries give it again; and when the child does not look at it, give it again. By repeating the same action you will bring the infant automatically to respond to you and to obey. It is a wrong method when the guardian wishes to control an infant and wishes to teach it discipline by forcing a certain action upon it. It is repetition which will bring about discipline. It only requires patience. For instance, if the infant is crying for it’s food or for something else when it is not time for it, one should attract it’s attention towards something else, even against it’s wishes. The best thing is repetition.

Balance can be taught to an infant by bringing its rhythm at the moment when it is excited by a certain action, to a normal condition. For instance, when an infant is very excited, then the rhythm of it’s action and movement is not normal. By clapping the hands, or by rattling, or by knocking on something one can make the rhythm of the infant change to one’s own rhythm; because any noise will attract an infant, and a noise made in a certain rhythm will influence it’s rhythm according to it. However excited the infant may be, begin by making some noise in its rhythm, and then moved gradually in a slower rhythm, the infant will come naturally to that rhythm. The excitement will abate; the whole condition of the infant’s mind, the blood circulation, the movements, the expression, everything will change to a normal rhythm.

There are three rhythms. There is a rhythm of passiveness, where the child is not passive at al. That means the child is not well or there is something wrong with it, something that should not be. There is a second rhythm where the child is active but not excited; that is the normal rhythm. And there is a third rhythm where the child is excited. That excitement must be brought to the second rhythm, where the child was active but not excited. This can be brought about by giving a child what it likes. If it does not like one toy, give another toy. In this way do everything to occupy its mind, so that for some moments it will keep to one thing.

The excitement of the infant is the changing of the rhythm; for the infant has no control over it’s own rhythm. It goes on at a greater and greater speed, until it cries or laughs. And the laughter or the cry is just the same. On the one side the infant will laugh and on the other side cry, because it’s rhythm is not normal. It can only be brought to a normal condition by the guardian’s effort. But if one gets agitated or does not like the infant or is displeased with it, then one cannot help it.

Should one stop an infant from crying? It is better to distract the mind of a child that is crying than to let it cry, but at the same time it is very natural for a child to cry sometimes. If the child does not cry, it means that there is something lacking in it, that the child is not normal. One must use discretion in how much one allows the child to cry and when to stop it. One can allow it to go as far as a certain rhythm; when it has reached that rhythm, then it must not cry any longer; that is the time to stop it. But when a mother, annoyed with the infant, stops it’s crying the moment it begins, it has a bad effect on its nervous system. And very often a guardian will put the child in a cradle or somewhere else to cry by itself. But that means leaving it in the same rhythm, and that does not help. In that way the child will become worse and worse, and more and more nervous everyday.

And now regarding the concentration of an infant. Toys with different colors, fruits, flowers, things that attract an infant should be brought before it, whatever attracts most; and then one must try and attract it’s attention to that particular object, let it play with it, let it look at it, be interested in it. In this way the guardian can develop in the child the faculty of concentration, which will be of the greatest importance when it is grown-up. If this quality is not developed, it will be very difficult for the child to concentrate when it grows up. Besides that, one brings a great interest into the life of the child when it begins to concentrate. And the child concentrates without knowing it. Give it any beautiful thing it likes to amuse itself with, and if it’s fancy is taken by it, if it is absorbed in it, the child will concentrate naturally upon it. It is good for the child, for it’s soul and it’s body, because concentration is all the power there is.

Regarding ethics: This important word is used here, but in reality, the greatest ethics or morals that one can learn in life are friendliness, which culminates in generosity; and it is never too soon to cultivate this seed of morals in the child. When you give something to an infant which it likes, and with friendliness and sympathy and love you ask the child to give it to you, that brings about the feeling of giving and at the same time the feeling of friendliness. Very often the infant is not willing to give, but that means it is not trained to do so. You do not need to force it out of his hands, but by having patience and repeating your wish that the object may be given to you, in the end the infant will give it. It may be that the first three or four times, if the child is very tenacious by nature, it will refuse, but in the end it will give it to you; and in this way it is taught the essence of morals.

Should one teach an infant that there are certain things it owns and other things which do not belong to it? Whatever an infant sees, whomever it belongs to, the infant owns it, and owns it as it’s birthright. It has not yet awakened to this world of limitations, of divisions. All that is there belongs to it; it really belongs to the infant. It is our consciousness of duality that makes us poor. The infant is rich, richer than anyone in this whole world. The infant has the riches of God; because, as everything belongs to God, so, too, everything belongs to an infant. And therefore there is no desire on the part of an infant to own anything: the infant owns all things. It is experience of the world that gives the child, as it grows, the desire to own, because then it becomes limited; then there are things which belong to others and certain things which belong to the child, and this means limitation.

Sometimes people think, ‘Is it not wrong in a way to make a person generous in this wicked world, where everyone wishes to snatch away everything from everybody he sees? And especially all the simple people who are giving, who are generous, they are the ones who do not take, but others do.’ The answer is that a selfish person is his own enemy. He thinks that selfishness is profitable, but his own action works against him. It might seemingly give him success. By selfishness he might earn riches or by a tenacious quality hold onto a position, rank or something else; but at the same time he is defeating his own object, he is making himself weak. Besides in the end, whatever be one’s experience, one will come to the realization that from those who pursue the world, the world runs away, and those who turn their backs on the world, the world follows. The spirit of all morals and ethics is friendliness, learning to sacrifice and learning to serve; and that lesson can be given first to an infant.

Finally we come to relaxation. The infant can become very troublesome to the guardian and to others if it has not learned relaxation properly. But relaxation is learned by an infant much sooner than by a grown-up person. One only needs to put the infant in an even rhythm, to give it calm and quiet surroundings. To place it a comfortable position, to make passes over the child to give it’s nervous system rest, looking into it’s eyes with sympathy and with the thought of it’s going to sleep, producing by one’s own thought and feeling and atmosphere a restful and peaceful atmosphere for an infant so that it can experience relaxation.

It is very necessary for these five different subjects to be taught in infancy. Besides that regularity should be observed in everything concerning an infant. In its food, in it’s sleep, in everything there must be regularity, because nature is rhythmic. The four seasons come regularly; the rising and setting of the sun, and the waxing and waning of the moon, all show that nature is rhythmic. By observing the rules of regularity with an infant one can build a foundation for a soul to grow up most successfully.

While the infant is being nursed by it’s mother the heart quality is being formed in it; and it is upon that quality that the feeling of the infant depends for it’s whole life. Not understanding this, people today have other methods of feeding an infant; and by these that spirit of heritage and many merits and qualities that the child has to develop, become blunted. Mechanical food is prepared, and the child’s heart becomes mechanical when it grows up. Once a Mogul emperor was very much astonished when he saw his son shaken by the noise of a gun, and he said to his minister, "I cannot understand how a child of my family could show such a trait.’ The wise minister said, ‘If you will inquire how the child was brought up, you will find that it was not nursed by it’s mother.

Just as the flesh of different animals is affected by each particular animal's character, so with everything one eats one partakes of its spirit. An infant is destined to receive qualities from its mother, in the form of food; and it is these qualities which become a fertilizer for the development of its heart. Food, made from the juice of fruits or meat and stored in bottles or tins, when given to an infant at an early age, forms undesirable atoms, and causes the infant to grow denser everyday. If the mother is unable to nurse the infant herself, the best way is to find a nurse. And that nurse must be considered not only from the health point of view, as many do, but also from the character point of view. She must be looked at from every angle.

When the infant is cutting its teeth the mind develops; that is the time of the development of the mind. By keenly watching an infant grow, one will find that the day when it begins to cut its teeth the expression of it’s eyes changes; a mind is born, a thought is created. It from that time that it begins to take notice of things and begins to think. The coming of the teeth is only an outward manifestation; the inner process is that the mind is forming. It is therefore a most important time in the life of an infant. For what is mind? Mind is the world. The infant at that time is forming the world in which it will live.

The moment when an infant begins to stand up and walk is the moment when power is beginning to become manifest in it. Enthusiasm, courage, the power of enduring, the power of patience, the power of enduring, the power of patience, the power of perseverance, all these come at that time; it is the time when power is bestowed upon an infant. And the moment when the infant begins to speak is the time that it’s spirit has formed, that the mind is connected with the soul and connected with the body; The whole spirit is made at that moment.

From that moment the child should be considered as an individual. It is a little individual which then begins to have in itself the essence of everything and all things in the world; for in every soul there is a spark of every object and every quality that exists in the whole universe. And so, at this time when the spirit is completed, the essence of all the different qualities and merits and objects that exist in the world has formed as a spark in the infant.

The best way, therefore, for a mother to educate an infant is to educate herself. The calmness, the quietness, the tenderness, the gentleness, everything the mother cultivates in her nature at that particular time when the infant is nursed, the infant will receive as a lesson in it’ cradle. The heart qualities are the most profound qualities man has; brain qualities come afterwards; and it is the heart qualities which make the basis of the whole life. At that particular time such qualities as kindness, sympathy, affection, tenderness, gentleness, mildness develop, and it is at that time also that regularity is taught to the child, when the child learns it’s first lesson is being punctual. Unconsciously, it learns a rhythm. It knows the time when it should be fed. It does not need a watch to look at; it knows its time of resting, it knows its time of resting. It knows it’s time of feeding. And by introducing rhythm into the mind of the child you put it on the road to perfection.

Mothers who get annoyed with an infant, who put it aside and say, ‘Well, let him cry for a time’, considering other work more important. Do not know what they are missing. Handling the child is the greatest opportunity. And even if they do it at the greatest sacrifice, it is worth while. Because once an infant is impressed with being neglected by the mother, there remains all it’s life an impression, in the deepest depth of it’s being, of a soreness. And when a person grows up he feels it unconsciously. And then he is displeased and dissatisfied with everybody he meets. When one lets an infant be fed at any time and let it be put to sleep at any time, that keeps it from a proper, even rhythm. And hinders it’s progress in life. For infancy is the first step on the path of progress.

When the mind of an infant is being formed, when it is cutting its teeth. People sometimes give it a rattle or something of rubber or wood, to put in its mouth. From a psychological point of view this is most undesirable, because it does not answer the purpose of the mouth. The mouth is for eating. Physically it is not good for it’s nerves and it’s gums. And psychologically it accomplishes no purpose. In the same way anything that is given to n infant at that age which does not serve a particular purpose, is a wrong thing to give. A child must not be deceived, even from its childhood, by an object which has no purpose. Even from infancy every object that is given to the child must inspire him with its use. An object that has no use, that serves no purpose, hinders the progress of an infant.

The moment when the infant stands up and walks is a moment which should be guarded with the greatest interest and keenness. This is the moment when the powers are being manifested. And if these powers are used and directed towards something, a box or a tray, or something which is not inspiring, which does not give back something to the child, those powers are being blunted at every effort the child makes to go towards it. Then the best thing is to call the child towards oneself, to gain the child’s sympathy and attention. This attracts the child and gives new life. Nothing one does with an infant should be purposeless. If it is so, then it’s whole life will be purposeless. There are many who after they are grown-up cannot accomplish a certain purpose in their life. Very often the reason is that from their childhood, when the forces were rising, they were not directed to a purpose. It does not matter if a sweet were put there, or a fruit or a flower; if the child was directed to bring that, then there is a purpose. But when the child is directed to go to a box, or to the wall or door, where it has no gain, then the effort which has risen unconsciously is lost.

The beginning of a person’s life is of greater importance than the latter part, because it is childhood that the road is made for him to go forward in life. And who makes the road? It is the guardian of the child who makes the road for it. If that road is not made and the guardian is asleep, then the child has great difficulty when it is grown-up. School education and college education will come afterwards; but the education of the greatest importance in the life of a soul comes in its infancy.

Now there is a symbolism in the actions of a child. If the child goes straight towards something, That shows the straightness of his nature. If the child is wobbly, then it shows lack of willpower. If the child goes to one side and stands there, and then goes to another side and another, and then walks back, this shows that there is a fear, a doubt, and that the mind is not clear. If it’s mind were clear, the child would go straight. If it stops on the way, then this itself is a hindrance in its future life.

If the child runs and reaches a certain place, it is impulsive and venturesome; it will jump into something when it is grown-up. But if an infant as soon as it begins to walk adopts a proper rhythm and reaches a desired spot, that infant is very promising. It shows singleness of purpose and balance by the rhythm of its walk. An infant which is beginning to walk, and which does not look at the guardian, but is only interested in what it sees before it, will be indifferent when it grows up. But an infant who, after going to a place, is attracted again to the guardian shows the heart quality. He will be a loving soul.

Should one do gymnastics with an infant? No, an infant is too young for gymnastics. But every action that can be taught in order to bring about a rhythm and balance and discipline, and concentration and affectionate feeling, works towards building it’s future; and thus the first education is the foundation of it’s character.

By saying that one person and not several should train an infant, one does not mean that the infant should be kept away from everyone. No doubt others can entertain the infant for a moment; they can see it, they can admire, they can love it; but only for a short time. If four or five persons are handling it at the same time, then the child’s character will not be decided; it will neither be one thing nor the other. If the same guardian watches over the child all the time this will always be beneficial whether the infant is with others or not.

When an infant reaches the age of two or three years, it is most beneficial if it is taught a moment of silence. But one might say, ‘How can a silence be taught?’ A silence can be taught by attracting an infant’s attention very keenly, and this can be done by rhythm. When you make a certain noise by clapping your hands or by making a rhythm, and when you attract the attention of an infant fully, then if you wish it to be inactive, you can hold it in an inactive condition for a moment. And that can do a great deal of good. It could become a kind of religious or esoteric education from infancy. If an infant can keep his eyes from blinking, and his breath and the movement of his hands and legs suspended for one moment, it accomplishes even at that age a meditation.

Furthermore, when the infant is beginning to utter sounds, such as, ba, pa, ma, boo, goo, one should not take it something unimportant or something which has no meaning. One must realize that each such sound is a new lesson that an infant has learnt from the world, and one should give that word great importance, because it is the first word and that is a divine word. The best way of training an infant to learn the meaning of these words and sounds is to repeat with it the same sounds, to let the child hear the same word over and over again, and become interested in what it is saying. And then to attract it’s attention to objects and persons of that name. It is in this way that the words ma and pa have come into being. It is not that someone else has given these names. The infant has given them to its father and mother. Others have added to those words and made them mater, madder, mother, but it began with ma and pa. It is a natural word, it has come from the depth of the mind of the infant’ It is a divine word. Its origin is a divine origin.

Such a word as ‘mummy’ is the third word, and is brought about with the help of the guardian. The first word is ma, the second word is mama, and the third word is mummy. As fashions come in dress, so there come fancies in words. People like to use a certain word for some time and then it becomes a fashion.

One can help an infant by repeating different words with it and by pointing out to it the meaning of the words, instead of always urging upon it another word to be repeated. One spoils the ear of an infant that way. The Nawab of Rampur once expressed a desire to the chief musician of his court to learn music himself, and the master said, ‘I will teach you music on one condition, and that is that you do not listen to every kind of music that comes your way. When bad music is heard the ear becomes spoiled; and then you cannot discriminate between bad music and good music.

So it is with an infant. The infant is saying pa, and the mother is saying leaf. The infant is saying something and the guardian is saying something else. There is no harmony and no purpose is accomplished. The infant is unable to say leaf; it is beginning to say pa. It’s own intuition has guided it, and it is better to go with nature and to let an infant be enlightened by every sound it makes, by showing it something connected with that sound. It is in this way that an infant is helped to speak. Then, if it learns to speak by nature’s method, it promises one day to speak from intuition.

It is the will which has brought the child to earth, otherwise it would not have come. It comes by it’s own will and it stays by it’s own will. The will is like the steam that makes the engine go forward. If the child wishes to go back, that depends upon its wish. It is always by the wish of the soul. And therefore in the child you see the will in the form in which it has come. But often during childhood the will is broken, and then it remains broken all through life. If in childhood the parents took good care that the will was not broken, then the will would manifest itself in wonders. The child would do wonderful things in life if its will was sustained, if it was cherished.

The infant that is born on earth brings with it the air of heaven. In its expression, in it’s smiles, even in it’s cry you hear the melody of the heavens. The Sufi point of view is that an infant is an exile from heaven, and that is why its first expression on earth is a cry. The soul that comes from above feels uncomfortable on the dense earth. This atmosphere is strange and not free; and it is a feeling of exile that makes the soul cry, a feeling of horror, of a terror of this world of woes.

When a child comes to this earth without a cry it indicates abnormality. The child is quite abnormal, and it will not have a full development, because the new sphere has not struck it; in other words, it is not fully awake to the new sphere. Bring a waking person here, he will look at what is going on; bring a drunken person, he will sit here in intoxication. He does not know what is going on, he is not aware of the conditions, he does not care. And so it is with an infant. There is hardly a case where an infant does not cry; but if there is such a case there is something wrong. Why is the soul so much attracted to the earth? It is attracted to the earth because it is bound to the earth. It is the soul’s passion to manifest; it is only expressing its passion.

Before the infant came to the world it had educators too, one or many educators. It first had educators on the jinn plane, the inhabitants of that plane and the ones going back who met it on the jinn plane. The older ones on the angelic plane have their experience, their life, their feeling to impart to a new soul going further on the journey. It is from there that an infant has brought the feeling of admiration for all beauty, the feeling and love of harmony, innocence and depth of feelings. Then it met other teachers on the jinn plane, and these teachers are the ones to whom it was directed from the angelic plane; because according to it’s association on the angelic plane it takes a certain route; a certain direction. It is the first instructors in the life of an infant who have the influence which directs and determines its destiny on the jinn plane.

Can the soul choose it’s instructor on the angelic and jinn planes, one may ask, or is it helpless before anyone is attracted to it? There is always free will and the lack of it on all planes. If we go into the midst of the city, there are some things that we purposely want to see; we are looking for them. And at the same time there are many things which attract our attention also without any intention on our part. In the same way, when the soul arrives it is attracted to things and beings which it had no intention of being attracted to, and at the same time it has it’s choice; it has both.

The experiences of the infant before birth on the higher planes are not directed by the stars as we understand it from the astrological point of view; it is from the time that it comes to the earth that it’s connection with the earth begins. But at the same time there are other factors which to a large extent determine the souls destiny.

On the jinn plane the soul receives instruction from the inhabitants of that sphere. And also from those who have just returned from the earth, eager to give to the infant their experience, their knowledge, and all they still have with them brought from earth. They would have given to it even what they had on the earthly plane, but no one is allowed to take to other sphere what he has collected here. All that belongs to this sphere a person must leave behind in order to be free and in order to be allowed to enter the higher spheres. And therefore, what they have is what they have collected in those spheres while they were on earth. That is all they have, the thoughts, impressions, feelings, experiences and knowledge they have gained. It is all, so to speak, a collection which a person makes in the higher spheres, but it is not something which can be deposited in the bank. So when man has left to the earth all that he has borrowed from the earth, then he goes on with only that property which he has deposited or collected in the higher spheres without knowing it. Very few on earth know that while they live on the earthly plane they are collecting something in the higher plane. They live at the same time on the higher plane, but they do not know it. With this heritage and with this knowledge and instruction that it has received from one or many, an infant comes to the earth. People might object that an infant does not show any sign of any knowledge of the earth nor of the heavens; it does not show any sign of the angelic world nor of the world of the jinns. They do not show that an infant can perceive or can receive impressions of human beings much more readily than grown-up people. The infant at once senses the right person; and sometimes it perceives more than a grown-up person. Besides that, we grown-up people think that we appreciate music, but if we realized the sense that an infant has brought with it of appreciating sound and rhythm, we would never boast of knowing music. The infant is music itself. In the cradle it is moving it’s little arms and legs in a certain rhythm. And when our music falls on the ears of an infant it is of the lowest character compared with the music it is accustomed to.

At the same time it begins to move it’s legs and it’s arms to the rhythm of the dense music. We may believe we have the finest music, but for an infant it is the most dense music; it is accustomed to much finer music than we can conceive. It longs for it, it looks for it; and what we give as a substitution does not satisfy it. For a moment it tries to listen to it, it tries to enjoy, to like it; but at the same time does not feel at home, it turns it’s back and wants to go away. Only for a moment it tries to enjoy it, thinking it is something that belongs to its country, which means the heavens; and then it finds out: no, it is foreign. That is the only reason why an infant will cry in the middle of a concert; if it were not so an infant would enjoy it more than anyone.

It takes some time for an infant to become accustomed to the life of the earth. And what makes it accustomed to it? Color. Color is what attracts most, and then sound. When it gets accustomed to the dense sound and the dense color, then it gradually begins to lose its heavenly attributes. And when its first wish is to change from being an angel and walk like an animal , when it begins to creep, it begins it’s earthly life; but before that it was an angel. Infancy is angelic; it is not the jinn time, it is the angelic time.

Infancy may divided into three parts: the first three years are real infancy. The first year the infant is most angelic; the second year there is a little shade of the jinn sphere; and the third year it begins to manifest the earthly influence, the influence of this world. So an infant becomes earthly in its first year.

Why is it that an infant, though still conscious of the angelic planes, has no feeling of kindness originally? The angels are not obliged to be kind. They are kindness itself, but that angelic kindness must awaken here. Kindness and cruelty are learned after coming here; when the infant comes, it comes with love alone. Everything else is taught here. And if the guardians knew this, they would help the child much better. There are many qualities that the soul has brought from the higher spheres, but those qualities remain undeveloped if they remain buried, if they are not given an opportunity to develop. Thus, if kindness has not been given an opportunity to develop in the child, the kindness will remain buried in the depth of its heart all its life, and it will not know it.

Parents sometimes think that it is bad manners for an infant to put it’s hands in it’s mouth, and therefore they give it something made of wood or rubber, or something else. It very much hinders its real progress in life, because every soul is born to reach the ideal of being self-sufficient. An infant tries from the beginning to put it’s hand in it’s mouth when the mouth wants something; and the parents, in order to teach good manners, give it something else, making the infant more artificial. If they left it to its natural tendency, they would help it’s growth, it’s progress toward a higher ideal. What are the saints and sages and adepts and mystics doing during their time of spiritual attainment? They eliminate everything in their life which makes them depend on things outside. They eat with their hands; instead of taking plates they use leaves; and everything that they do shows that they wish to become independent.

By independence is meant self-sufficiency: that what they can get from their own self they must not look for outside. That is the principal motive of those who are striving for self-attainment, because it is the means of overcoming the sorrows and troubles and woes of this life. One sees a constant striving in the life of the adepts to make themselves independent of outside things as much as possible. On the other hand worldly people think it progress if they can become daily more independent on others. Every step we take is towards dependence; and the more we depend upon others, the more we think we are progressing. In the end we come to such a stage that for what the soul needs, what the mind needs, what the body needs, we depend upon others. And, not knowing this, we teach the child to put something else instead of it’s little hand in it’s mouth; and that is the purest and the cleanest toy that it can have to play with.

The Q’ran says there is time for everything. And so there is a time, there is day, an hour, a moment fixed for the child to change its attitude: to learn to sit, to learn to stand, to learn to walk. But when the parents, eager to see the child stand or sit or walk, help it, the child will do it before the time, and that works against it’s development. Because it is not only that it begins to learn to sit or stand or to walk. There is a far greater meaning in it. These are different stages which an infant goes through in its spiritual life. Physically these are just ordinary actions; spiritually it is a stage. When the child sits it is a stage; when it stands it is a stage; when it begins to walk it is a stage. These are like three first initiations in the life of an infant.

In order to understand the meaning of an infant’s laughter and cry one must become an infant, because it is the language of another sphere. But when a person does not trouble about it, then its cry is only a nuisance and it’s laughter is a game. Sometimes people wish to make the child laugh more and more because they are interested or as an entertainment. Or people neglect the child, leaving it to cry, and pay no attention. Or when an infant is crying the mother says, ‘Be quiet, be quiet’. In all these cases they lose the opportunity of understanding the language of an infant. This is the opportunity for the guardian, for the mother, for the one who looks after an infant, to learn the heavenly language. For there is nothing that has no meaning, and every movement of an infant, who is an expression, an example, from above has a meaning. But as we are absorbed from morning to evening in the responsibilities and duties of the world, we forget the responsibility and duty to the infant. And because the infant cannot speak in our language and tell us how neglectful we are of what it wants, and what it needs, and what can be done for it, there remains a wall of separation between mother and child.

An infant knows and feels the presence of an undesirable person in the atmosphere around it. It is very unwise when people engage any nurse that comes along to take care of their infant. And it is unfortunate in these days when mothers have many other occupations, that they cannot take charge of their infant themselves, and have to send it to what they call a creche, a place where they take care of infants. This does not mean that to keep an infant among many other infants is not right, but at the same time it is only after we have grown up in this dense world that we come together, if not very much, at least partially. It is always difficult for many people to work together, to be together, to live together; and yet we have been here on this earth so many years, and we have become accustomed to the life of the earth. But what about an infant who has just arrived and who is placed among other infants, where the gap between the evolution of one infant and another is infinitely greater than the difference between two grown-up persons? They are not yet accustomed to being together, and the atmosphere of one infant is bad for another. It is alright for many soldiers to be together in one room, for many patients to be together in one hospital; but for many infants to be put in one place after being exiled from paradise to this earth, imagine what it means for them to have this experience! It is like a king banished from his kingdom. No doubt after six months or a year an infant becomes accustomed to it; but at the same time the individuality of the soul and the development of the personality become blunted.

No doubt a great amount of patience is required to take care of an infant. But patience is never wasted; patience is a process through which a soul passes and becomes precious. Souls who have risen above the world’s limitations and sorrows, the worlds falseness and deception, they are the souls who have passed through deception, they are the souls who have passed through patience. If it is the destiny of the guardian or the mother to acquire patience, she must know that there is nothing lost, but that she has gained something in her life. To raise an infant, to look after it, to educate it, and to give oneself to it’s service, is as much and as good a work as the work of an adept; because an adept forgets himself by meditation, a mother forgets herself by giving her life to the child.

There is always a possibility of giving an infant bad habits. For example sometimes a guardian enjoys the laughter of an infant and thus makes it laugh more and more, because it is amusing. But however much an infant has laughed, so much it must cry afterwards, in order to make a balance. And then there may be another mother who, as soon as an infant has opened it’s mouth to cry says, ‘Quiet, quiet!’; but if an infant then becomes quiet, something in it’s character is broken. It want s to cry, it must be allowed to cry; there is something in its character that wants to come out.

There is also a tendency in an infant to throw things about, to slap, to kick, to tear, to break things. Sometimes it is such a little thing that is broken or spoiled that the mother thinks its behavior is enjoyable. But if an infant is allowed to do what ought not to be encouraged, it will only make it difficult for it later. It must be corrected, but at the same time it must not be corrected with anger or annoyance. It should be corrected repeatedly by giving the infant something to do which is different from what it was doing before. One should always keep an infant focused on things that will be good for it, and try to divert it'’ attention from things that it must not do, instead of enjoying and amusing oneself with things that it does which the parents may think does not matter.

It is very difficult to stop an infant in its first year from destroying things. Besides the inclination to destroy things is a great virtue in the child. It is the desire of the soul to know the mystery of life; because every object before an infant is a cover over the mystery the soul is looking for. It is annoyed with it because it is a cover. It wants to know by breaking it what it is.

However, it is possible to stop the infant from breaking things by suggestion, not by getting annoyed. Annoyance must be avoided, because it is not good for an infant if one is annoyed with it. The more patience one has with an infant the better; its will becomes more powerful. But if you are annoyed, then the nervous system of the infant deteriorates, and it becomes depressed. Its nervous system becomes contracted, it becomes tired; and when it is grown up a fear remains. One must be extremely careful with an infant that its nerves do not get cramped. Its nervous centers are delicate; and these are the centers which are intuitive centers. Later on, these centers will help the soul to perceive higher knowledge. And if these centers become cramped by the annoyance of the guardians, then the infant has lost that faculty by which it should grow and profit on life. The infant will understand; one must have patience. One should repeat, ‘You must not break it’, every time he breaks something. Let him break ten times, and every time just say, ‘You must not break it’; that helps.

Regarding the bad nature of an infant, sometimes it shows stubbornness and obstinacy even to the extent that one feels annoyed and begins to scold it. But that is not right. Scolding has a bad effect on the nerves of an infant. And once a bad effect has been made on the nerves of an infant there will be a mark of annoyance on the nerves all through it’s life. The best thing at such moments is tot call the attention of the infant repeatedly to something that will take away that thought, and we must never tire of doing it. It is this which will make it come back to a proper rhythm.

There are two principal temperaments in infants: active and passive. There is an infant that is quite happy in the place where it is put, quite contented, enjoying itself; it cries only when it is hungry. And there is another infant who is always doing something; either it must cry or break, or tear something; it must do something all the time. The best thing is to bring the infant back to a normal rhythm. An active infant must be quieted by the influence of the guardian; by attracting it’s mind to a certain thing, by beating time and getting it into a certain rhythm. Infancy is the time when the impulsive nature can be trained, and that is the time to draw out what is really best in the impulsive nature to its best advantage.

When an infant is quiet, contented, passive, happy-natured, one must not contented about it, because it may not prove to be good in the end. The infant should be made a little more active. A little more attention must be given to it, a few more playthings, a little more thought must be given. It should be stimulated, it should be picked up and it’s attention attracted to this or that, so that it may become more active and more interested in the things it sees; that will bring about a proper balance.

THE EDUCATION OF THE BABY

In the first five years of a child’s life, the first two years are considered as infancy, the next three years as babyhood. Very often there is a desire on the part of the guardians to educate the child of four or five years either in a kindergarten or at home. That time in the life of a child is a time of kingship, and the eagerness on the part of the guardians for the child’s education to begin is only pressing it with our competitive life. For our life is competitive and it is getting worse and worse everyday; and the same spirit unconsciously exerts pressure on the life of the child, urging it on to become one among the many competitors of the world, in order to guard it’s interest when it is grown up. But what about the most blessed years that destiny has granted to the baby, when there is no worry, no anxiety, no malice, and no ambition? That is the real kingship. If you compare a baby with a king, you will see that the baby is the king and the king is the imitation.

No doubt it is better that the child learns in the kindergarten, where it is taught only the alphabet, than at school, because there it’s mind is distracted and it has something to play with. But at the same time, even attracting the mind of a child to a limited horizon is limiting the growth of its soul. It was much better to do as the peasants and uncivilized people used to do, keeping their children at that age perfectly free to run about and to climb the trees and play with the soil, and to jump and run about and play with their playmates. It is a great mistake on the part of the guardians to deprive the child of that freedom and happiness which the heavens have granted it in that period.

The story of Adam’s exile from the Garden of Eden shows that there is a certain time in a man’s life when he is in the garden of Eden, and after that time he is exiled from there and no longer experiences that joy and happiness and freedom that once the soul possessed. There is not one soul in this world who has not experienced the Garden of Eden, and that Garden of Eden is babyhood.

Now there comes the question of controlling children’s intense activity. In the first place their intense activity is tiresome to other people in the family because their interests are different. But if its interest is different that is not a fault on the part of the child. For instance the guardian may be working or writing, or taking a rest, or thinking about something worldly, while the child is playing and making a noise; and the guardian thinks, ‘No, this is wrong’. But wrong according to which law? It is a lack of consideration when the guardian is not tolerant of the activity of the baby. No doubt it does not always fit in with the earthly people. But babies are not earthly, they are heavenly creatures. They must be given the liberty to enjoy their heavenly life, just as we are entitled to experience the life of this earth.

No doubt there is a certain limit to it. One may say, ‘We will not let them break the things in the house; we will not let them spoil things; we will not let them trouble us in our work’; but all that is earthly. In point of fact, the guardian has no right to prevent the baby from enjoying its creative activity, and every effort must be made by the guardian to allow this. In the children’s play, in their hustle and bustle, in their crying and jumping and running and crying their soul is expressing itself. We call it naughty, but they do not consider it so. Even if it is called naughtiness they think it is lawful for them; and it is so. And because we control them and make them suit our own lives, their energy, their enthusiasm, their spirit becomes limited; and in this way their real progress is hampered.

At this age a child is conscious of the higher spheres. Many times children have known much more about what was going on at the front during the war than even the authorities knew. They knew intuitively, sometimes in their dreams, sometimes in a kind of deep imagination; and when they predicted something, that thing happened. And that shows that at four, five, six, and seven years the child is extremely intuitive, because at that time it is under the influence of the jinn.

At the age of three, four and five the baby is very imitative; it likes to imitate everything it sees. And the best way of educating the baby is to bring before it everything that is worth imitating. For instance, sounds, notes, rhythm, and anything that is pertaining to tone and rhythm build and beautify the character, and form the foundation of character in babyhood. And it is best that until the age of five the baby should not be taught anything in the way of figures or alphabet or letters. Regularity is the only thing that can be taught to children at that age, and without their knowing it; regularity in sleeping, in waking up, in food, in playing, and in sitting quiet.

I was very much interested in what Madame Montessori told me when I was in Italy, that besides all the activities that she gives the children, she makes them keep a silence; and after a little time they like it so much that they prefer silence to their activity. And it interested me still more to see a little girl of about six years of age who, when the time of silence came, went and closed the windows and closed the door, and put away all the things that she was playing with. And then she came and sat in her little chair and closed her eyes, and she did not open them for about three or four minutes. You could see on her innocent face an angelic expression. It seemed she preferred those five minutes silence of all the playing of the whole day. Children enjoy silence when they have become accustomed to it. Silence is not a strain on a child. Only in the beginning it might appear to be disagreeable to a child, who is eager to play and run about, to be sitting and closing it’s eyes. For children to sit and close their eyes seems hard in the beginning. But when they have had some silence every day for a week, they begin to enjoy the happiness of silence.

Sometimes there is a tendency on the part of the guardian or of those around a baby to enjoy it’s irritability. It is a kind of entertainment for them. Because they love the baby they are amused by the little gesture of annoyance on its part. But by appreciating it, by recognizing it, by observing it, they develop that characteristic. The best thing, however, would be to overlook it, not to acknowledge it, not to be conscious of it, not to feel for one moment that the child is irritable; because once the guardian takes no notice of it, that tendency of the baby will begin to decrease.

There is also a tendency on the part of the guardian to be annoyed at the irritability of the child. That too is wrong; because by being annoyed one gives to the baby, just like fuel to the fire, the energy to be more irritable. Guardianship of a baby requires great patience; and the more patient one is, the more wise one is with the baby, the more one can help it’s souls progress.

Very often behind the irritability either of a child or of a grown-up person there is a hidden reason, and it may be a physical reason. There may be something physically wrong which others do not know of; and they only think that this child is irritable by nature. They attribute the irritability to the child, instead of seeing that there is something physically wrong with it. By trying to find out what it is, one will be able to tolerate that condition better.

There is another tendency in the baby, and that is that during its development it has varied moods. Some days it is loving, other days it is less loving; some days it is more angelic, other days it is less angelic; in this way it changes it’s moods. In this phase the greatest care should be taken that all such moods of the child are controlled, without forcing one’s own will too much upon it. For instance, if the baby is very much inclined to cry, to laugh, to destroy things, or to play, the best thing is to direct it’s attention to something else. If it is laughing very much one should direct it’s attention to something that will keep it’s mind busy, that will make it more balanced, and take it’s attention away from the idea that makes it laugh. If it is crying, the same thing may be done: to divert the child’s attention from the object, the thought or the condition which makes it cry, and in this way to bring about a balance in its life.

Is there any place in the life of a baby for religion? The answer is that the best opportunity to sow the seed of religion is in babyhood, because it is at that time that the angelic quality is fresh and the jinn quality is beginning to develop. And in what way should one teach the child religion? The ancient lesson of the God-ideal, which all the prophets and teachers have given and which will always prove to be the best lesson there is, is to give the child the idea of God: God of goodness, God of beauty, God of compassion, God of love, God of harmony. If in any child there is a spiritual tendency, it will show even from the age of five years. Love for prayer for instance, love for the God-ideal: the feeling for something sacred, a reverence for something religious, it might seem that this was already there, that the child was born with it.

Sometimes the religious, the devotional, and spiritual attributes are distinctly seen in a child who is growing from infancy to childhood. The spiritual tendency is inborn, and hen it shows itself in a child one should know that the child has brought it from above. The child is very often more responsive to the God ideal than a grown-up person; because the grown-up person, by being absorbed in the things of the world, has lost the idea of God. He has the world before him. The child has not yet the world before him; and therefore the child is more capable of conceiving the thought of God than a grown-up person. And if this opportunity is lost, then when they are grown-up they feel that something is missing in their life, and they think, ‘If only I had known about God it would have been much better.’ But now it is too late; now it is difficult for them to conceive the thought of God, because the seed was not sown at the right time.

There are numberless souls who, because their parents have not given them the idea of God, find it most difficult to conceive it; and at the same time their soul is constantly seeking for it. But the guardian must be most careful that he does not sow the seed of bigotry with the religious ideal. If he does this, then a great harm is done to the child. By bigotry is meant this: first there is a time when a person believes in God, and that is a very blessed time. And when he is more evolved in the worldly life then he fights for his Church, that is then his main idea. And when he is still more evolved, then he despises other creeds. And so a person evolves higher and higher; it is that evolution which is called bigotry. If a child is impressed from it’s childhood by that spirit, then the main object is defeated. The main object of religion is to elevate the child to the higher ideal; and that can be done by giving it the key of religion, and that key is the God-ideal.

The guardian must also endeavor not to give the child heavier food than it can digest in the form of religion. Very often there are guardians filled with a philosophical idea, with a special idea of religion, with an ethical conception of religion, who wish to inspire the child at that age. But in this way they do harm; because instead of giving the first lesson they have perhaps given a lesson which is too advanced for the child, and it is all lost. It is just like giving too much water to a growing plant which dies because of the flood of water that it cannot absorb. There are very many guardians who talk philosophically to a baby , because their philosophical conception is so overpowering that they think it must be poured out on the child; but if the child is too full of it then it will only forget it. We must become children with the child in order to bring it up. We must speak it’s own language, and we must only give it what it can understand.

Once a nurse came to me and said, ‘This child asks wonderful questions, and I cannot answer them’. I said, ‘What are the questions?’ She replied, ‘When this child was going to say it’s evening prayer before going to bed, it asked me, ‘If God is in heaven, up in heaven, then why must I bow low to the earth?"’ The nurse was very perplexed; she did not know the answer; but if this child had not been answered, from that moment it’s belief would have gone, because that is the time when the soul is beginning to inquire into life and it’s mystery. I asked the child, ‘What did you say?’ The child explained it to me, and I said, ‘Yes God is in heaven, but where are His feet? On the earth. By bending towards the earth you are touching His feet’. That gave it the explanation that although the head of God is in heaven, the feet of God are on the earth; and therefore touching the earth is touching the feet of God. It was quite satisfied.

Very often children are on the point of losing their belief because their belief is just like a young plant, a little seedling that comes out of the earth; and if this is not well guarded, it can be destroyed in a moment. Therefore one must be most careful. It does not matter if a grown-up person has a belief today and gives it up tomorrow. It does not matter because his belief was nothing. But a child’s belief is different. A child’s belief is something serious. It has no doubt; what it believes, it believes seriously; and therefore its belief is real belief. If that belief is destroyed it is a great pity and a great loss.

A child one day came to its guardian very perplexed because a boy had said to it, ‘Do you believe in Santa Clause? If you do then it is not right, because there never was such a being as Santa Clause.’ This child was very disappointed, because it had just written a letter to Santa Clause before Christmas. And in it’s great despair it came to the guardian to ask, ‘is it true that Santa Claus exists or is it not true?’ Now suppose the guardian had said, ‘It is true’, then in four or five years’ time the child would have come and said, ‘No it is not true’; and if he had said, ‘No, it is not true’, then all the child’s belief would have been totally destroyed. It would have been completely changed if the guardian had said, ‘It is not true’. That would have rooted out, just by saying no, all the innocent religious belief from the heart of that child. But the guardian said to it, ‘Remember, all that the mind can conceive exists. If it does not exist on the physical plane, it exists in the sphere of the mind. So never say it does not exist. To the one who says that it does not exist, say that it exists in the sphere of the mind’; and the child was very impressed by this answer.

A child can remember such an answer all it’s life. If the child evolved so that it could touch the heavens, it would still believe it. Never in life need it say, ‘I do not believe it’, and at the same time that is a belief that is tangible. It can never say, ‘It does not exist, it is not real’. It can say’ ‘It is real’, both as a child and as a grown-up person.

It is best to keep the child ignorant of all stories of ghosts as long as one can. Ghost stories impress a child and interest it very much, and by this it’s mind goes in another direction, a direction which s not suitable for it. The best thing is always to avoid conversation about ghosts and spirits, and also about the devil. And the best way of avoiding it is to turn it into a joke. A witty answer that will turn the mind of the child from the idea of ghosts to a joke would be the best thing. But at the same time to say there is no such thing as a ghost or a devil is taking upon oneself a very great responsibility. It is denying something which is written in the Bible and in other scriptures, and could make a child an unbeliever, so that when it grows up it will not believe in anything.

It is essential that in childhood a religious teaching be given. If the guardian is not able to discuss religion with the child, it is better not to try but to give the child the habit of sitting in silence for a moment, and thinking about the higher ideal, God.

The way of Christ was to give humanity the ideal of God, God as the heavenly Father. And what was the reason? The reason was that it was conceivable. Even a child can understand that idea: Father, heavenly Father, the real Father. Besides all the different names that the prophets and teachers have given to God are really not appropriate; it was only to make people understand. Their minds could only conceive those names: the Judge, or the Creator, or the Supreme Being, or the King of the Day of Judgement. They are not the names of God. God cannot be limited to those names; they are too small for God. Yet at the same time it is the best one can do to make the ideal of God as concrete to the mind as possible. What strength, what help it is for the child to think from early childhood that there is a Friend unknown, unseen; to be able to say, ‘There is Someone who hears my prayers. Someone who in my troubles and difficulties can be with me, Someone whose blessing I ask, Someone who protects me, Someone who is like my mother and my father and yet unknown, unseen’. Even if the child is not able to make it clear to itself, yet unconsciously it will feel it like a support from within. It will feel that it can stand with that support, a support so great that at all times, whether the child has it’s parents or not, in all conditions it can feel, ‘There is always Someone who is there with me’. And if this ideal is built from childhood by wise guardians, it helps the child for it’s whole life.

The guardian need not be discouraged to find obstinacy and temper and selfishness in the little child. He must know that either the baby has inherited it or it is the result of some defect in its physical health, and it must be treated most wisely. Fire is increased by fire, and the plant of temper is watered by anger. The more the guardian reacts the more he will encourage that tendency in the baby. To become annoyed with the child who is in a temper is to fan the spark of anger in it. The best way is to first get the baby to respond to him, and then with that response to make it act according to the will of the guardian.

If the obstinacy of the baby can be directed to it’s own advantage, then it can be benefited by the obstinacy. Obstinacy can be very useful; for most of the great people in this world have become great by a certain obstinacy in their character, because obstinacy is a strength and power in itself. An obstinate businessman can be successful, an obstinate warrior can win, an obstinate politician can accomplish his purpose and an obstinate industrialist can accomplish great things. Obstinacy, therefore, if rightly directed, can be of great use. One only needs to mould the mind of the child in such a direction that it’s obstinacy may become fruitful. It is the obstinate child who will sit and finish a task that is given to it; if it had not that obstinacy it would not do it. Sometimes from obstinacy comes the spirit of rivalry, and very often the spirit of rivalry becomes the means to success.

Manners are most important , and especially at four and five years of age the lessons of manners must be given. The first lesson to be taught is knowing when to come near and be loving, and when to sit quiet and obedient in the presence of the guardian. If the guardian is showing affection to the baby all the time the baby becomes spoiled. There must be change. There must be a time when the child is loved. It requires love, love is it’s sustenance. But there is another time when the child must be obedient. It must sit or stand or do something that it is old to do. And at that time there is no display of tenderness.

There is one thing that must be taught from babyhood, and that is not to argue. If that tendency is not suppressed from babyhood, it will grow unconsciously perhaps and afterwards the guardian will find it most disagreeable. A person in whom this tendency is not checked from childhood will how insolence in some form or another, no matter how good the manners he learned afterwards. Also, if the child contradicts it should also be checked, even to the extent that the guardian may say to the child, ‘As you are young you do not know enough. Even of to you it appears wrong, there is some right in it. You do not know and therefore you may not contradict; and you may not contradict your guardian before others. If you think that your guardians are wrong, when the others are gone you may come to your guardians and say, "That was not right, what you said"; but you may not say it before others, because you do not know enough about what your guardian has said. There may be some reason in it.’ When you have said this to the baby once or twice or thrice it understands. A child is easier to work with than grown-up people.

At the same time the baby should be inspired with the spirit of self-respect. There may be something delicious on the table, something attractive in the room. Something beautiful within its reach, there may be some gold and silver coins lying loose in it’s presence. , but it’s natural tendency of taking them , of losing them, of breaking them, of spoiling them, must be checked. And how must it be checked? The baby must not think that it is forced to keep away from what attracts it, but it must feel that it is self-respect not to look at it. That it is glad to take it’s eyes away from the sweet that is on the table, that it feels a great pride and honor to think that it will not even look at it. That teaches the baby patience; and it’s self-respect gives it more joy than even the sweet and the toy would give it, because it touched it’s very being; it wakens the soul when the child feels pride in refusing something that in it’s heart it is attracted to. This does not mean that the baby should be denied all that is good and beautiful. No, it must be taught that when something is given, it can be accepted; but when it is not given, then the baby must be proud enough to control itself.

The baby must be taught not to be over-enthusiastic about anything that appeals to it, whether it is a sweet , a toy, or something beautiful; it must be taught no to show too great an appreciation. Because it is a humiliation, it is making oneself small before the object that one is enthusiastic about. The baby must be too proud to be enthusiastic. And remember that a baby will begin to appreciate this, if not in the beginning, then a little later. Self-control gives the child such a feeling of power and satisfaction that it begins to enjoy it.

A child must be checked in the feeling, ‘You have taken more than I’, or ‘My little brother, or my little sister, has received more than was given to me’. That must be stopped. It must not judge; it must appreciate it if the little brother or sister has got more; it must be glad. It will not be glad naturally, but if it is taught then it will be glad; it will enjoy being glad. Virtues are virtues because they give joy once they are practiced. If a virtue does not give joy, it is not a virtue.

Very often guardians doe not attach importance to what toys they give the baby to play with. There are certain toys which have the effect of making it lazy; there are certain toys which will make it confused, or which will bring about stupidity, or make the child irritable or timid. Unconsciously they have that effect upon the child. Besides, playing with certain toys does not bring any benefit. When we think that every moment of babyhood is so precious in the life of the soul, and that this soul is to be denied something that can add to it’s progress, it seems a great pity.

There must be discrimination even in choosing toys, as to what toy will inspire the children and help them, and will elevate their souls. There are many meaningless toys with horrible faces, horrible toys with nothing beautiful about them. The child likes them because it likes anything. Sometimes a child likes a doll without arms or legs. But we must give the child toys which are finished and without arms or legs.

Sometimes it likes horrible toys most. For instance, what does a teddy-bear do to the child? Does it inspire the child, does it elevate its soul? It does nothing. On the contrary, it gives to the receptive mind of the child the impression of an animal, which is not good. Very often there are toys which give no inspiration, which have no action, and therefore have a confusing effect upon the child. One gives a child a teddy-bear because one thinks that it likes it. But why must we give something to the child because it likes it? A friendship with a bear!

There is much else to occupy one’s mind. Besides, there are certain toys which give no exercise to the mind and no inspiration to the child, and that makes it lazy. Anything constructive is good. For instance, a train that runs, or an instrument that sounds, that is good for a child, or anything that it can construct with, as the pieces of a puzzle that a child can make a picture from, or the little bricks and pillars and different things from which it can make a house or something else. All such toys are good. In short every toy must be constructive, must lead to some purpose; that should be the guiding principal.

It is not very good for the child to play with animals. If the child can have a kind feeling towards the animal it is quite enough; because every association has its special effect on the child. And very often the tendency of the guardian is to think that the child likes the animal very much. That may be so, but it is not good for the child; from a psychological point of view it is sometimes bad for it.

Boys’ toys should not be given to girls, neither should girls’ toys be given to boys. If boys get accustomed to playing with the toys of girls, then their mind goes in another direction; and it is the same with girls. It is better that the girl has her own toys and the boy his own toys. Both must have toys appropriate for them, and very often guardians do not discriminate between them.

One may wonder if it is bad for children to play with tin soldiers. Yes, it is, because it develops a tendency towards fighting. But it is delicate and very subtle question, and one must not lay down rules about it. What a terrible thing it would be if as a child a person did not play with bow and arrows and sword or anything that is soldier-like, and then when he was twenty-one years of age, the country called him to defend it and he knew nothing about warfare, for he had never received any preparation for it! And another question arises: when the whole nation is ready for war and there is one youth , perhaps, who feels, ‘I will not go because I am not in agreement with the principle, it is his right to disagree with the principal but at the same time he is willing to accept the order and peace that is maintained by the nation, to share all the privileges of being a member of the nation. He shares them, but he refuses what the majority wants him to do. It is against his principle certainly; but what the majority wishes him to do he refuses although he does not refuse the privileges. If he refuses the privileges also it is different. If he does like the sages, if he goes away from the country and stays in solitude under the shade of a tree, it is different. If he does not want money, if he says, ‘I do not compete with you. I do no want to have any benefit from your progress in life. I do not keep any money that a thief can steal from me, for which I might then have to come to your court’, then it is different. But if a person is ready to share all privileges that belong to the country, and then when the need of defense comes says, ‘It is against my principle’, that is quite another matter. Never think that this means standing up for war. But at the same time let the little boys be capable of everything.

Every little manner that is sweet in the child, every good little tendency it shows, should be emphasized and appreciated. One must not take it silently. Never think that by showing the child appreciation it will become conceited. No, the child will be encouraged. It will be just like watering a plant when you appreciate everything that is nice in the manner of a baby. And there is never a time in one’s whole life when one appreciates a word of praise so much as one is baby. The child really appreciates it and is encouraged to do the same again.

Then there is the question of blame. When the child has done anything wrong, the first thing is to reason with it, to convince it. And if it is not convinced at once, then try a second time, and then a third, a fourth. Never be disappointed, even if one has to try ten times to convince the baby by argument.

Very often a guardian thinks it is too much waste of time to argue with a baby who does not understand; it is more easily done when one scolds and finishes with it. But that does not finish it. Much scolding blunts the spirit of the child. The spirit of the child must be kept so fine and so sharp that the slightest glance could make it feel hurt. But if one scolds the child all the time, it blunts it’s spirit, and the child becomes worse and worse.

Never for one moment imagine that the child will not take in your reasoning. If not the first time, it will take it in the second or the third time. One must continue to reason with the child; and by doing so the guardian brings the child closer to his spirit, because the child feels a friendship between itself and the guardian. By reasoning one draws the child closer to one’s own spirit. And if the child does not listen to the reasoning and the guardian has reasoned for many days, then the nest thing to try is temptation. To tempt it with a sweet, with a flower, with something that it likes, with love, with appreciation. To say, ‘You have done right’, ‘Now you have done it nicely, and I will give you a toy,’ ‘I shall give you a sweet if you will do it’. Show appreciation, tempt it to do right. This is the next step. It is preferable that the child should learn with reasoning; but if not, then a reward must make it listen.

If even a reward is not enough, then the third way is scolding, punishment. But scolding must be short. The scolding must be in the voice, in the way it is said. It must not be hard, nor must it be harsh. There must be a certain tone that the child at once realizes is scolding. One must avoid scolding as much as one can. But if one cannot help it then that is the third way. There is a wrong method which guardians very often adopt, perhaps in the East more than in the West, and that is to frighten a child by saying some bogey is coming or something like that. If it continues to be naughty something will come to frighten it, a ghost or a spirit. That is the worst thing that one could do to a child, because every such shock takes away a great deal from the enthusiasm of its spirit to progress. It hampers the progress of the soul to be frightened by anything.

Very often a stubborn child who does not change, by being asked to turn around three times changes its point of view at once. If one wants to make the child feel more deeply, if one tells the proud child to go and stand in the corner with its back turned to everybody, it really feels hurt. One can also ask it to go out of the room and stand outside the door. That hurts the child still more.

Is it right to punish a child? Punishment is natural. Every soul is punished in some way or another. For everything one does there is a punishment; it is the law of nature. The law of life has punishment just the same. But punishment for the child must be gentle. It is better to avoid a severe punishment, but rather to give a little mental punishment, which makes the child realize that it is being punished. Suppose one told the child to go from one place to another five times or ten times. In point of fact, walking up and down can be an enjoyment for the child, but by the very fact that you have given it as a punishment the child does not like it. The feeling, ‘I am punished’, in itself corrects it. In order to punish you do not need to torture a child; you only need to make it realize that it is being punished. That is quite enough.

Sometimes guardians think it is necessary to slap a child, to slap its face. Slapping is sometimes dangerous, because there are veins and delicate organs in the forehead and on the temples, and slapping could cause a condition which though not manifest at the time, might become so after twenty or forty years. And therefore instead of slapping it is far better to tweak the ears. Punishment has a very bad effect when it blunts the sharpness of the child’s spirit. Very often punishment may work with the child, but in some way or other it blunts it’s fineness; and therefore one must try to do without if one can. Then, after giving good advice and counsel and encouragement, and after showing appreciation and doing everything possible, the last thing is to tweak the ears. Boys are sometimes more stubborn than girls; and if you give them a little punishment in the form of gymnastics it corrects them. If a boy is told to stand up and sit down fifty times, it helps him in his gymnastics, and at the same time he feels punished. Boys are difficult to control, and can easily become insolent if they are not trained from their babyhood. A girl by nature is thoughtful, and a boy by nature is contrary. When a boy is thoughtful it means that life has taught him.

Very often both boys and girls can be taught by means of repetition. For instance, if you told the boy to repeat a hundred times, ‘I will not make pencil marks on the wall’, after repeating it for a hundred times he will be impressed by it. There is great difference in the effect of making a child repeat a phrase a hundred times. If you make the child write the phrase a hundred times the effect is one quarter compared with the effect if you had made him say it a hundred times; that is the best punishment you could give him. While he is repeating a hundred times he becomes impatient, he becomes tired and becomes displeased with it; at the same time he is impressed that he is being punished. When one asks a child to stand for a long time and repeat, ‘I will not be mischievous’, in fifteen minutes time will take away a great deal of that spirit of mischief from it.

One may ask what one is to do if the child will not take the punishment, will not repeat a phrase, for instance. But the child will surely do it. If from babyhood it is not controlled, then it becomes insolent and refuses afterwards, but if from babyhood it is taught to obey a normal child will not refuse.

How should one treat a child when it is angry? By not partaking of it’s anger. That is the first principle. When the guardian loses his temper because of the child’s anger, then everything goes wrong, because then there is a fire on both sides. The child is not helped in that way. It is best to keep calm and direct the child’s attention to something else. If the child is in a temper and the guardian gives it punishment, that does not do it any good. It is wasted.

There is, however, another time when the punishment may be usefully given. Punishment may be given when the child is in its balanced, normal condition. For instance, if you held a court in the house, where the children could be judged at a time when they had forgotten all about what they had done, then they would remember. That is the time when whatever punishment is given will have effect. But when the child is cross and the punishment is given immediately, it is lost. At that time every effort must be made to take away the temper by kindness, by sympathy. But very often that is where the guardian makes a mistake.

Must a child obey without understanding? There is a vast difference between the mentality and experience of the child and of the guardian. Very often the child will not know why it is told, ‘You must not do it’; and if the child always asked, ‘Why must I not do it?’ then it would be difficult, because very often it cannot be explained. And very often it had better not be explained. Very often it is better that the child only listens to the guardian and does not argue. Just as the musicians in the orchestra are accustomed to look at the conductor’s baton, so a baby must be taught to look at the glance of its guardian. and if the guardian is wise enough to conduct the action of the baby from morning till evening by his glance alone, he is sure to train that child to be a most promising soul in the future.

And now another question arises: how much must a baby he kept in control, and how much must it be allowed to play with its playmates? There must be certain times when the baby is allowed to play with its playmates. But the guardian must select the because the association in childhood is more responsible for the baby’s future than the association than when grown-up. Very few people think about this. Mostly the tendency of the parents is to think that any child that comes along can play with their child. But when it comes to home education it is not the same thing. That system will not do; because home education is an individual education, while school education is different. There they are all together, but home education is something else, it is a different ideal. And this must be remembered, that school education without home education is not sufficient.

The greatest drawback today is that home education is lacking, and only school education is given. And therefore in many personalities there is something missing that ought to have come from home. If there were thousands of schools most wisely and wonderfully organized, they still could not take the place of home education. Home education is the foundation of school education; and that opportunity of being educated at home must not be denied to a child, because it is a great blessing.

There must be discrimination in regard to the playmates that one chooses for the baby. And the time must be limited so that the baby plays with its playmates during that time only. But if the child is allowed to run wild in play and there is no limit to it, then no training is given and it is not education. There is need for play, but only for a certain time and no longer.

Regularity in life is the rhythm of life; and the more the rhythm is maintained in life, the better it is. It is not necessary for many grown-up persons to handle a baby; it is better that only one handles it. It is just like an orchestra and its conductor. If there were four conductors conducting the orchestra, they would spoil it. Even if there were four hundred musicians playing there must only be one conductor. It is the same thing with the guardian. If there is more than one person to guide the life of a child, it will be spoiled. In the case of two parents one must become the hand to the other. But if both wish to manage their child, then it will be spoiled.

If the baby is an orphan, what can he do? That is destiny. One can only be sorry about it. And those who are blessed by providence and who have to look after an orphan, should consider their responsibility as that of a parent, of a guardian towards the orphan that is in their charge. But every woman and every man in this world should consider it their duty, whenever they are in contact with a new soul, to be as parents to that soul. For in the total scheme of life all the elder ones have to take the part of the parents to the younger ones, while those have to take the part of the children to those who are older. So that we each have our older ones and our younger ones to look up to and to look after.

The greatest ideal that one can give a baby is to look up to its parents. That is the first ideal; and if at that time the baby has not received this ideal, then all his life he will have no ideal, because he will have no basis for it. Someone went to the prophet Mohammed and said, ‘Prophet, I am so spiritually inclined, and I would so much like to follow your Message and come and meditate in your presence. But I am still young and my parents need me at home. What shall I do?’ the prophet said, ‘Remain at home first, because some consideration is due to your parents.’ One might think that the prophet was a greater ideal still; why did the prophet deny him that ideal? If he did not look up to his parents, did not appreciate them or feel grateful for them, how could he appreciate the prophet?

It is the parent’s duty to give the ideal of themselves to their own child. Not for their own sakes, but for the good of the child. That ideal must be given from babyhood so that the child looks up to its parents as it would look up to the King or Queen, or to God or to a prophet. When the ideal is sewn in that way, in the child from the beginning, then it will flourish, and then that ideal will become a guiding torch in the life of the soul.

When the child is six years of age babyhood ends and childhood begins. There are cases of earlier or later development, but as a rule the change comes at six or seven years. This is the age of great conflict because the soul is taking a new step forward in life. And this inner conflict very often seems troublesome to the guardian. The child is restless and obstinate, too active and less responsive, and yields to any advice that the guardian would like to give.

Today many think that at six years old the child should go to school; but this is a mistaken idea. This is the time when the child should be at home, because six years is the time of conflict, and seven is the beginning of a new era for the child. If at that time the child misses home education and is sent to school to be trained with other children, that takes away the distinctive care which should be given to it at that age. If the child has once been sent to school, one should not take it away from the school; but at the same time it would be better if one could manage to keep the child from school and give it home education until it is nine years of age. But if the child would like to go to school should one not send it? One does not send the child to school for its pleasure; and also the guardian can give pleasure to the child by giving it the training which it likes at home. It is not necessary that the guardian should teach the child letters and figures at home. The earlier one teaches a child, the earlier his mentality will wear out in life. And if one does not teach him, it only means that when the mind is mature it will grasp more quickly. Just as the voice producer says that if you begin to sing at a certain age your voice will flourish, and if you sing before that age it is not good, so it is with the mentality of a child. If the child begins before its time, it only means that in the end the mind will wear out before its time.

Where there are many children in the house and the guardian cannot give all his attention to each, this means a little more responsibility. But at the same time it is easier too, because for the guardian with so many children at the same time there is a greater opportunity and greater practice.

What generally happens is the guardians become so tired taking care of the child that they feel a great burden lifted from their shoulders when the child goes to school, for then they feel comfortable, being quite free for six or eight hours. Because one child in the house can be equal to one hundred children. Guardians think that they love the child, and very often they think that they make all sacrifices. But at the same time when it comes to bearing with an energetic child in the house, then there is a doubt. It does not mean lack of love, but they think, ‘I would be happier if the child were away for a while’. But they only think so because they do not know what a great opportunity it is to begin to train and to guide the child. It is an opportunity for it’s whole life. And if the guardian misses it, it means a loss to the child.

The reason why the guardians are anxious to send the child to school is that they are conscious of competitive life. They see how there is competition in business and industry and on all side of life. And in order to train the child soon enough, so that it may take up life’s duties and responsibilities, they wish to do it early. The consequence is that the child has lost the best time it could have had at home. A time of rest and comfort, and freedom from all anxiety about the work that it has to do at school. So that its mind could have matured properly, and it could have begun the school work at the right time. It is because the generality of people are so competitive in every profession and business, that we make the coming generation suffer. We deprive the children of their freedom, of the time which they ought to have at home to play and to think little and enjoy life more, and to keep away from worries and anxieties. We take away that beat time in the life of a child by sending it to school.

A proper rhythm should be given to the child in babyhood. This is the only training necessary, in order that it may be neither too excitable nor too lethargic; and that its interest may grow, and that, while playing, it may get familiar with nature and gain what knowledge nature can give. When a child is six years of age it is not able to grasp an ideal, and any ideal given to it at that age is wrong. Only evenness of rhythm should be maintained in the everyday life of the child. Its natural tendency is to laugh too much, to play too much. Everything that it is interested in it does more than it should do. And if the guardian can try to keep it normal and balanced it will help make a great difference.

At the age of seven the child is ready to receive any ideal given to it, because that is the beginning of childhood. And now comes the question: what ideal should be given? The first ideal should be the ideal of a respectful attitude towards its elders; because once grown-up without this ideal a soul never learns respect. He only learns the form, but it does not come from within. Among a hundred persons who are compelled to act respectfully there is perhaps one person who is respectful in spirit. Ninety-nine persons are compelled by conventionality to act respectfully, and that action gives no joy. But when that attitude comes from within, then it comes with joy. It gives joy to others and it brings joy to oneself.

Today we see the general attitude of insolence increasing as time goes on. It is the outcome of negligence on the part of the guardians at the time when it should have been taken in hand. Many think that this attitude ought to be taught in school, but the school is not responsible for it. It belongs to home education, and it is the guardian who is responsible for it. And it is at this particular age of seven that it must be given. Of course if a child has not a respectful attitude, one can very easily accept it. One smiles at the lack of it. One thinks, ‘It is a little child, what do you expect from it?’ One’s love and affection for the child make one think, ‘Oh, what does it matter? Is it not a child?’ But to take it like that is to work against it’s future. This is just the time when a respectful attitude must be developed. The tendency to argue, the tendency to hit back, the tendency to refuse, to disobey, the tendency to speak in a disagreeable tone, even the tendency to frown and make a disagreeable face, all these disrespectful tendencies grow with the years in childhood. One does not think that they are of any importance but when they are allowed to grow they grow as enemies, bitter enemies of that child. And, as Sa’di says, Ba adab ba nasib, bi adab bi nasib, ‘The one who has respect in him, he will be fortunate surely. And the one who lacks it will be unfortunate’.

The lack of this tendency is a misfortune for man. And besides the man who has no respect for another has no respect for himself. He cannot have it, he has not that sense. Self-respect only comes to the man who has respect for another. You will always find in a disrespectful person a lack of self-respect.

Another ideal is a regard for the guardian. By guardians are meant parents or those who take care of the child and take the place of the parents. And regard is not only respect, it is more than respect. It is the feeling that, ‘This is my guardian’, a feeling that ‘I owe him something’, a feeling that ‘There is a certain duty by which I am bound by my guardian’, the realization of the sacredness of that duty. And in this feeling there is joy . if the child is inspired by this sense at that particular time, one will see that it will enjoy that feeling every time it experiences it.

When we look at life and see how many grown-up people have lost absolutely all regard for their guardians it makes one feel that the world is really wicked. There are so many souls who have no consideration for those who have brought them up from their childhood when they were helpless. It is very sad to see how many guardians and parents are treated neglectfully. And then in some rare case, when you see the devotion of a daughter to her aged mother, a daughter who has sacrificed everything in her life in order to make her aged mother comfortable and to help her, it seems so beautiful. And when you see a grown-up man who has a regard for his mother and father, so that by managing his affairs and having duties and responsibilities of life, he yet at the same time thinks of his aged parents, it is something so beautiful to see and there is a great blessing in it.

One can inspire this beautiful tendency in childhood; but if the time is missed then it becomes difficult. It is not only that it is beautiful to be able to give some pleasure and to render some service to parents, but those who have become considerate in their lives begin to see that this is the greatest privilege and blessing that one could have in life.

May a child give counsel to its parents? It would be disrespectful if even a grown-up child stood up and give counsel to his parents, unless it was asked to do so. Besides a child is a child even if it is fifty years old, and if it does not feel a child with its parents it is missing a great deal in its life. There is a story of the King of Udaipur, who was still very sad a year after his mother’s death. One day his friends told him, ‘Now you have reached the age of fifty and you are a father, even a grandfather. Nobody’s parents last forever. As long as she lived it was a privilege, but now she is gone and you must forget your sorrow’. He said, ‘Yes, I am trying to forget. But there is one thing I cannot forget, and that is the nickname by which she called me. Everyone is respectful towards me, everyone calls me "Maharana". But she alone called me by a nickname, and I loved it so much.’

No matter what age one reaches, if one does not feel like a baby, like a child with one’s parents, it is a pity. It is a great joy to feel like a baby, no matter what age. It is a great privilege, a blessing in life when one’s parents are living, and when one has that chance of acting like a baby. It is the most beautiful thing in the world.

No doubt it is very easy to be insolent, and it is very easy to be insolent, and it is very amusing to teach others. And when a person is grown-up he may also try to teach his parents. They are old and weak now, and perhaps also declining mentally, naturally they give in. But there is no beauty in it. The beauty is to give a counsel without giving counsel, if necessary even without speaking. On the other hand, thoughtful parents, when a child has won their confidence, naturally wish for counsel. But when the child has the right understanding he will still have the right attitude, he will never make the counsel seem like a counsel. He will always put it in such a way that it will seem as if it came from the parents and not from himself.

The third ideal that one can inspire in the child is a sense of pride, a self-respecting attitude; because this is the time when the child could lose its self-respect and that little sense of pride or honor which is now growing in it. It is natural to see the child pleased with a toy or attracted to a sweet that is placed before it. But it is better when you offer the child a toy or a sweet which it likes and it refuses it out of self-respect. It is pleasant to see a child saying to its guardian, ‘Please get me this,’ and ‘But this for me,’ or ‘I would like to have this’. But it is better still to see the child holding back its desire out of self-respect. If pride is not developed at that age, then what is life going to be without pride? Nothing. In the days when communications were not as they are now, it happened that children of good families cam to a country far from home and where they were unknown, either because they were exiled or because circumstances or destiny had brought them there. And what made them prove to be what they were was pride, not pearls or jewels or money or anything. A sense of honor is such a great treasure that, in the absence of all jewels and money and wealth, this will prove to be most valuable.

In what must this pride consist? It must consist in the sense of contentment. If the child understands, ‘Where I am not wanted I need not be’, or No matter how beautiful is the fruit or the flower, or anything that belongs to him, I must not even show that I would like to have it’, that sense of honor is riches itself. How many parents strive all their life to collect money to give comfort to their children afterwards! But how much can they depend on the money, and especially at this time when money is changing so quickly in value that it takes no time for a rich man to become poor? If money makes a person rich, then those riches are not reliable. But the parents can give riches which cannot be given away from the child. And these riches are in the form of ennobling its spirit.

May not the feeling of honor develop a false pride, one might ask, and how can one prevent this? This is the guardian’s responsibility. Anything exaggerated and anything carried to the extreme is bad. One can become too proud and one can think too much of honor. But generally the life of the world is so wicked that instead of increasing the sense of honor it dies the opposite. There are so many needs there are so many wants. There are so many conditions and situations which instead of raising a person pull him down. Therefore the effort on the part of the guardian should be to give a hand to the soul to climb upward, instead of letting it go downward. There are many influences which pull downward. One must inspire the child with such pride and honor that in poverty or wealth, and in all conditions it may prove to be a noble soul. Then there is a fourth ideal that one should inspire the child. That ideal is thoughtfulness in speaking or in doing anything. This means the child must become conscious of its child’s place. It must not try to take the place of the elder one. It is a child. It must keep its place. For instance, if two elderly people are discussing something and the child comes in and says, ‘No, no, it is not so,’ it is out of place. Maybe according to its mind it is not so, but it is not entitled to say so. It must keep its place. That is what is meant by thoughtfulness.

Care must be takes of everything. For instance, when the child wants to sit down somewhere, if it does not consider those who must be seated first, but first takes a place for itself, letting others wait. Or it when entering a place or leaving it, the child goes forward and keeps back those who should go first. Or when at the dinner- table, a child holds out hid hands first, before the others have moved. All such things must be taken care of.

In speech, in movement, in action the child must be conscious of its childhood and must know its place. If not what happens? How few thoughtful people one meets in ones everyday life! When one sees the ordinary life in the world of today there is no end to the lack of consideration. Why? Because they have left out all those things which are of most importance in education. They have left them out in order to make room for mathematics. The primary cause of the loss of all the finer principles in the education given today is that it has left out the ideal.

And the fifth ideal that can be inspired in the child is the ideal of the unknown, of the unseen. If that ideal is not inspired, what dies a person live for? Only to earn a loaf of bread? Only to strive in this life of competition day after day, ruining one’s mind, humbling ones spirit? And what does one gain? If earthly gain is all there is, it is a very small gain after all. If a higher ideal, a spiritual ideal, or God-ideal is not inspired in the child, then it is as you see today, thousands and millions of souls who are lost in the crowd, who do not know anything except living from day to day, their whole energy is spent in the struggle to live, and there is still a greater struggle to live more comfortably. Beyond this there seems nothing else. But how long can they be contented with this ideal? A time comes when they may lose their mind. They may have millions in the bank, and yet they are not satisfied because they cannot see where they are going and whether there is anything to look forward to. It is in childhood that the spirit is responsive, and if the God-ideal is inspired at that time then one has done what Christ has said, ‘Seek ye first the kingdom of God…and all these things shall be added unto you’. One had given the child a start on the path of God. And that is the first lesson that should be given in childhood.

In training children the best way is not to show them that you are teaching them. The best thing is to be the friend of one’s child. In a friendly talk with children one can inspire these things in them. Because as soon as a child knows that it is being taught it takes it heavily. But if you bring out the good that is in the child and the ideal that is in its spirit already, then the child will gladly listen to what you are saying. To rule the child is one thing, and to give loving a friendly counsel to a child is another thing. By ruling one cannot hammer these ideals into the head of a child, but by winning its affection and love you can very well train its spirit and tune it to the higher ideal.

The age of seven, eight, and nine years is considered childhood, early childhood. The beginning of this age is the beginning of a new life, a step forward into life. From seven, eight and nine the child is conscious of the human sphere. Before that a child is conscious of the higher spheres, but at this time it is conscious of the human world. For the guardians this age of the child is of the greatest interest.

There was once a man in prison who offered the State all his wealth if he were allowed to come out of prison. It took a long time for the government to decide. And when the government decided that he should be released he said, ‘Now, there is no purpose in coming out. There is a child at home, and this was the time of the greatest interest, to watch it grow, between seven and nine years old. Now that age is passed I prefer to finish my sentence’.

Early childhood is like soil that is just prepared for sowing the seed. It is such a great opportunity in the life of the child, and an even greater opportunity for the guardian to sow the seed of knowledge and of righteousness in the heart of the child.

There are three subjects of interest which may not be taught to the child, but the child may be helped to interest itself in them: drawing, music and dancing. It is at this age that the movements of the child should become graceful. But once the guardian begins to teach the child, then it is a training. This is not the time to train the child, this is the time to give free expression to its soul. To let it dance in any way that it likes to dance, a natural dance. To draw pictures just as it wishes to draw them and paint just as it wishes to paint, without any direction given to it, only interest in its work. Also if the child wishes to play an instrument or sing, let it sing in whatever way it likes. Maybe a word here and there to help it, but not to correct it, not to give it lessons on these subjects , not to let it think it is being taught. The child should only feel that it is being helped.

When we study life keenly, we find that drawing, singing and dancing are innate or inner inclinations. A child need not be taught, they come by themselves. Every normal child has a desire to sing, a desire to draw and also a desire to dance. Only the child begins sometimes by drawing lines and figures on the wall and spoiling the wall. The guardians can check this inclination by giving the child pencil and paper and asking it to draw pictures on it. The child will feel proud to have the material to draw. Very often guardians become cross because a child has been drawing on the wall. But it cannot be helped. It is a natural inclination.

The next inclination is that of singing. Very often an energetic child will show this inclination by shouting, by making a noise, by raising its voice. And this can be controlled. It can best be controlled by showing appreciation for a little song that the child may sing. And if it does not know one, then let it learn one somewhere. A child who has the inclination to hear its own voice will be very glad to imitate any song it hears.

The third inclination, that of dancing, the child shows in jumping up and down and running from one corner to another. This shows restlessness and an inclination to move. And this activity can be controlled by showing appreciation for the dancing movements of little children.

There was a time when the ancient people thought very much of movements. And they were right in thinking thus about them. Because whenever you see a person with awkward movements you will find something awkward in his character. A person who is deficient in brain will always show it in the awkwardness of his movements. If movements have so much to do with a person’s evolution, with his mentality, then graceful movements will always help the mentality of a person. The child which is naturally inclined to movement, will take interest if it is directed towards moving with rhythm.

One might think it is difficult to teach a child dancing. One has only to teach the child action. For instance, to turn, to take something from the ground or from the mantelpiece, to move something, any such everyday actions, and naturally all these actions turn into a dance. Besides children are very imitative, and anything that appeals to them they readily imitate. If they see graceful movements they are most eager to imitate them. That is the age when the imitating faculty begins to develop. Is it then good for children of that age to take them to dancing performances and exhibitions of pictures? Sometimes it is good, as long as one knows where one is taking them and what kind of performance it is.

There are three things that a child may be taught at this particular time: perseverance, patience and endurance. The child may be taught perseverance in anything that it is engaged in doing. Perhaps it is mending a toy, or doing some other work. One should help the child, encourage it to continue and not to leave it before it is finished. For however small this may appear, when this habit is formed, it will show later on in big things. A soul who has learned perseverance in childhood will show a tendency all its life to finish everything that he undertakes.

Frequently we see that this tendency is lacking among grown-up people. And this is very often the cause of their failure in life. And if their mind is restless, then it is still worse. They take up something today, and then after a week their interest is gone and there is something else. And they accomplish nothing in their lives. Life is great opportunity, and the one who does not complete the thing he has undertaken, however small, certainly loses most in life.

Accomplishment is more valuable then what is accomplished. For instance, if a person has loosened a knot in a string, apparently he has not gained anything, the time has been spent on a very small thing. And yet the action of completing it is useful, he has built something in his spirit that will be useful to him when he wants to accomplish great works.

And now coming to the subject of patience, how can a child be taught patience? By teaching it to wait. Because a child is very impatient by nature, and if this tendency remains, then after that child is grown-up it will give it great unhappiness. When a person has no patience life becomes death for him. Patience is like death, but not to have patience is worse than death. Besides, patience produces wonderful fruits, and patience is a quality which is beyond comparison with any other qualities in the world. If there is anything that gives kingliness to the soul, it is patience. What was the secret of the masters who have accomplished great things, who have inspired many and who have helped many souls? Their secret was patience. This is the time to sow the seed of patience in the child. In little things you can give the child the habit of patience. In asking for food, in wanting to go out and play, and in many other things a child shows lack of patience, the child will begin to show nobleness of spirit.

The third thing is endurance. One might ask, ‘We have so much to endure in life when we are grown-up, why must we make a child endure at that age?’ But the answer is that for the very reason that life will make it endure when it is grown-up, let it know from this time that there is such a thing as endurance and that every soul has to go through this. No doubt it is painful for the loving guardian to see the child develop the faculty of endurance, but at the same time it would be more painful if the child were to grow up without this faculty. And in what way can one teach the child this? From morning till evening in the life of a child there are a thousand things happening. So many times it falls and so many times it hurts itself and so many times it has to swallow a bitter pill. And every time it is not inclined to go through something that is good for it to go through, one should give it courage and strength and a word of encouragement or of advice, appreciating its endurance. In this way it will develop the enduring faculty.

In teaching the child, the best method is not to let it know that you are teaching. Teach it without the child knowing it. And that can be done by showing appreciation for the least little thing it does which you wish to develop in its spirit. The ego is born with pride, even in the child. And if you appreciate something, the child likes it too, and even sometimes more than the grown-up, because grown-up people have lost faith in words.

Very often people teach wrong nursery rhymes. It is not only a waste of time, but it has a bad effect on the child. Sometimes they are useless words, and sometimes they are meaningless words, and sometimes they are words of suggestion which just as well be kept away from the mind of the child. Every rhyme that rhymes only is not beneficial. It must have some sense in it. And therefore the guardian must know first what he is teaching before teaching the child.

It is the same with stories. The best method of teaching children is to teach them with stories. There are fables that interest children very much, and also there is a meaning to understand. If the guardians will explain to them the meaning that is in the fable the children will become still more interested in it, and at the same time they will learn something. A story need not be always very instructive. Even grown-up people do not like that. The most interesting story for children is a funny story. And if one can put some little meaning into a comical story, that is the best thing one can do. They remember it, and at the same time the sense remains concealed in the story. And as they grow the sense begins to emerge, and one day they understand what it means.

There is a fable of a donkey and a camel. Once a donkey went to a camel and said, ‘Camel Uncle, I would like very much to go grazing with you.’ The camel said, ‘Yes, I will come with you tomorrow.’ And so they went into a field. It took a long time for the camel to feed himself, but the donkey fed himself very quickly. After the donkey had finished his dinner he said, ‘Camel Uncle, I am so happy, first to have your friendship and then to be here in the field. I feel like singing and I would very much like you to dance.’ The camel said, ‘I have not yet finished my meal but you seem to be ready.’ ‘Well’, said the donkey, if you are not ready I will try my voice’. And the donkey began to try his voice. And the farmer came with a stick in his hand, but the donkey jumped out of the way and the camel was beaten.

When next day the donkey went to invite Uncle Camel, the camel said, ‘I am too ill. Your way is different and my way is different. From today we will part.’

This story shows the sense of friendship between the one who is dignified and the one who has no sense of dignity.

If a young child asks a question about his origin, the answer one must give is: God. This question gives one an opening to sow the seed of the God-ideal in the heart of the child.

It is always good to tell children stories from the Bible or other sacred scriptures, but the person who puts them in a form that the child can understand must be very wise. If not, as the stories are, sometimes they are not proper stories to teach children. Also, the time of the Old Testament was a different time, and there are certain stories that do not suit the present time. It is always a good thing for the guardian to make his own stories. To get them out of different books and put them into his own story and then give them to the children. Once a wise guardian was asked by a child, ‘But is it a real story?’ and he said, ‘As a story it is real’.

It is learning while playing, for no one is so interested in stories as little children. And if one makes use of that interest for their benefit, one has the greatest opportunity to put wonderful ideas into their minds with the stories. In no other way will the child absorb ideals as it will do in the form of stories. The stories told in its early childhood will remain with it all through its life. It will never forget them. Maybe that every year, as the child grows, that story will have another meaning. And so there will be a continual development of the ideal, which will become a great blessing in the life of the child.

The time between the ages of ten and twelve years may be called middle childhood. It is in this period that a child begins to be distinguished as a girl-child or a boy-child. And each must be given its particular direction, for a girl a girl’s direction and for a boy a boy’s direction. At home an education can be given which is not to be expected at school. Even if the same subjects were taught at school it would not be the same as what a child learns at home. Therefore even when the child is going to school there still remains a responsibility for the guardians to give it home education apart from its studies in the school.

For the intellectual development of the child it is of great importance that it becomes familiar with nature. It must not be done as a lesson. It must be done as a friendly talk to explain to the child about plants, tree,, insects, birds and animals. And when it is given by the spoken word the effect is quite different from the reading of natural science or any other studies of nature that the child may make. It wakens its interest and it develops its knowledge. It6 deepened in it a feeling for nature. And it will later culminate in the wakening of the faculty of communicating with nature, which is the principal thing for every soul in its spiritual development.

A soul who is not close to nature is far away from what is called spirituality. In order to be spiritual one must communicate, and especially one must communicate with nature. One must feel nature. There is so much to be learned from plant life, from birds, animals, insects, that once a child begins to take an interest in that subject, everything becomes a symbolic expression of the inner truth. If the child is deeply interested in the knowledge of nature, that shows that it has taken the first step on the path of philosophical truth.

The next thing is to acquaint the child with the customs of the country where it was born and has to live. It is the absence of this knowledge country where it was born and has to live. It is the absence of this knowledge that makes people continue their old customs without knowing what they are and why they are. People go on sometimes for thousands of years following the same custom and yet not knowing the meaning of it. People in the East ate very keen on their ancient customs, and very often they have followed those customs for more than a thousand years without knowing why and what is in them. They do it only because it is a custom. But it happens also in the West, where in some places there is a festival almost every day. It would be good for a child to know why such a custom exists, what is the good of it, what is the meaning of it, what we derive from it and what it suggests. It is interesting to celebrate a fete and to be gay and joyous. But one can make merry every day and yet achieve nothing. Besides, life is an opportunity and every day and every hour of life is of the greatest importance. And if one allows so much of one’s time to be given to customs of the country there is no end to it.

Every generation must take a step forward in evolution. And it can do it better by understanding life better. The guardians can help the child very much by making it understand life. And the best way of educating the child is not to give it one’s opinion about those customs, not to say directly that it is a good or bad custom. Only to explain the psychology of it and the meaning of the custom. And let the child see for himself if it is a custom worth following or better forgotten.

The third thing one can help the child to understand is something about the people of its country. And what they were and what they are, their characteristics, their inclinations and their aspirations. And let the child imagine what it would like its world to be. This also gives it an opportunity of reconstruction as the world evolves. And the fourth thing is to acquaint the child with its own family. Very often it happens that a child knows about China and Japan and about Egypt and Persia, having read about them, and it does not know the name of its grandfather. If it knows something about its family, its genealogy, it will be able to control life better. Maybe there are things that the child will follow, that it will adopt for its betterment. And it may be that there are things that it will correct in itself. Maybe it wishes to repair some harm that was done before. In both cases the child will be able to manage its life better as it goes on. If a soul is not interested in knowing about its own family, when it is grown-up it will not be interested in knowing about the source from whence it comes. Because this is the first point from which it can go further, until it reaches to that source, to that family, fro